OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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