You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
