i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
