is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
