He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
