remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
