Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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