1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
