But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
