4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
