hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
God, I missed his penis.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
