i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
