I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
