But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
