whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
