if you like me you must not know who I am
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
