no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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