hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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