Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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