Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
