am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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