Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
