got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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