Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
