The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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