I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
