Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
