Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
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As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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