you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
