your room smells of hookers.
And success
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
