don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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