sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
