OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
