He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
