just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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