party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we're making bets on your personal life
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Come on in and take your pants off
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
