Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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