D3 body, D1 cock
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
