You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
