Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
