We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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