I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
