In the future we'll all be gay
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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