morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
