We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
