Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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