i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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