Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize