Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
