There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
