The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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