I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
