Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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