my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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