did you get engaged???
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
