The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
