u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
