Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
third nipple confirmed
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
