New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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